I know I am a few days late, but here is my weekly check in. I must say that not only did I honor the commitment to continue with my morning pages, I also wrote two songs so far. This is week two of my song per week. I am still working on how I am going to post the songs for you all. So keep cheking back. I must say that this week has been a harder week for me than last week, but there is somehing about this process that won't let me give in. I am just that committed to my recovery as a "blocked artist".
More soon,
GaBrilla
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Artist in Recovery
I started re-reading "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron this past week. I have had this book for years and have started the "program" many times, but had some issues doing my morning pages (one of the assignments that are required). I would usually go about three days and stop. I made excuses for myself, saying that I didn't need to write them. I soon found that when I commited myself to the process, the boulder began to budge.
Today marks a full week, seven whole days of me doing my morning pages. For those of you who have not read or are not familiar with "The Artist's Way", as part of your recovery and re-discovery, you are required to write three (3) pages of streams of consciousness writing as soon as you wake up in the morning. It's so funny, because I would find all the excuses in the world to sleep in late, but now that I have begun this process, I am excited about waking up and writing those three pages. Sometimes, I'll write as many as five. Twice this week my mother needed me to assist her with some early morning errands, so I set my alarm for 6:30 a.m. Both times, I woke up and did my morning pages!!! For some getting up this early is routine, but for me, an at-home mother and recovering artist this is HUGE. I even woke up before 8 a.m. on a Saturday.
I am discovering and encountering a lot of monsters in my creative past. Monsters whose voices would be so prevalent in my thoughts that I thought they were true, I am learning to distinguish them from the Truth of who I am and why I create. I create because it is like breathing fo me; and I felt tlike I had been suffocating for so long. I am more connected with myself when I allow music, words and colors to spill forth and be. I am also re-connecting with all those beautiful voices of love and support that are ever present within me as well. I now envision my inner critic as a short creature that looks a lot like a puffed out Blowfish with little legs. When the image came to me (while writing my morning page) I burst into laughter. That really helps me to keep moving. If I look at my inner critic as that little creature, it has less and less power over my ability to create.
In addition to the morning pages, I am required to take myself out on an "Artist's Date". This is to be done alone and it must be done weekly. The Artist's Date was very challenging for me. I could not decide what it was I wanted to do. I finally decided to go into this used book store that I had passed by quite a few times. At first it was difficult to just relax and not rush myself, something that I often do in bookstores (especially when you have a 2-year old running all over the bookstore). I spent about 30 minutes on my date. Not bad for a first time. I plan to have longer dates and ones that are more thought out.
A Song Per Week
My Good Friend and fellow Sistah/ Producah Extraordinaire Hanifah Walidah and I were talking about a month or so ago about this idea that she had to write a song a week. Consequently, someone else had already began doing it, but I said, that doesn't stop us from doing it. If anything, it will be a good way tochallenge ourselves, crank out some songs, learn some different techniques, build community and have fun.
Sooooo.....
In addition to my Morning Pages and My Artists's date I am adding my own assignment of "A song per week". I intend to write a song per week. I have written one song since I have been back in New Orleans and that has been 6 months now. It is time for this boulder to be gone, but it needs some work to be moved. I already wrote lyrics for my first song of the week entilted " A Child in Me". Now on to the Music. I have not decided if or when I will post them, but I guess I should so that you all can know if I am writing the songs as I said I would or not (smile). In addition to the production of my album: Urban Angel Songs, Volume One: Breaking Through (coming in April 2008), I intend to write and record my song per week.
Who else is interested? Maybe your thing is poetry. Fiction? How about a story per week. Come on, Let's see what we can do. The time is now. You are the one!!!!
In Greatness,
GaBrilla Ballard
Artist in Recovery
Today marks a full week, seven whole days of me doing my morning pages. For those of you who have not read or are not familiar with "The Artist's Way", as part of your recovery and re-discovery, you are required to write three (3) pages of streams of consciousness writing as soon as you wake up in the morning. It's so funny, because I would find all the excuses in the world to sleep in late, but now that I have begun this process, I am excited about waking up and writing those three pages. Sometimes, I'll write as many as five. Twice this week my mother needed me to assist her with some early morning errands, so I set my alarm for 6:30 a.m. Both times, I woke up and did my morning pages!!! For some getting up this early is routine, but for me, an at-home mother and recovering artist this is HUGE. I even woke up before 8 a.m. on a Saturday.
I am discovering and encountering a lot of monsters in my creative past. Monsters whose voices would be so prevalent in my thoughts that I thought they were true, I am learning to distinguish them from the Truth of who I am and why I create. I create because it is like breathing fo me; and I felt tlike I had been suffocating for so long. I am more connected with myself when I allow music, words and colors to spill forth and be. I am also re-connecting with all those beautiful voices of love and support that are ever present within me as well. I now envision my inner critic as a short creature that looks a lot like a puffed out Blowfish with little legs. When the image came to me (while writing my morning page) I burst into laughter. That really helps me to keep moving. If I look at my inner critic as that little creature, it has less and less power over my ability to create.
In addition to the morning pages, I am required to take myself out on an "Artist's Date". This is to be done alone and it must be done weekly. The Artist's Date was very challenging for me. I could not decide what it was I wanted to do. I finally decided to go into this used book store that I had passed by quite a few times. At first it was difficult to just relax and not rush myself, something that I often do in bookstores (especially when you have a 2-year old running all over the bookstore). I spent about 30 minutes on my date. Not bad for a first time. I plan to have longer dates and ones that are more thought out.
A Song Per Week
My Good Friend and fellow Sistah/ Producah Extraordinaire Hanifah Walidah and I were talking about a month or so ago about this idea that she had to write a song a week. Consequently, someone else had already began doing it, but I said, that doesn't stop us from doing it. If anything, it will be a good way tochallenge ourselves, crank out some songs, learn some different techniques, build community and have fun.
Sooooo.....
In addition to my Morning Pages and My Artists's date I am adding my own assignment of "A song per week". I intend to write a song per week. I have written one song since I have been back in New Orleans and that has been 6 months now. It is time for this boulder to be gone, but it needs some work to be moved. I already wrote lyrics for my first song of the week entilted " A Child in Me". Now on to the Music. I have not decided if or when I will post them, but I guess I should so that you all can know if I am writing the songs as I said I would or not (smile). In addition to the production of my album: Urban Angel Songs, Volume One: Breaking Through (coming in April 2008), I intend to write and record my song per week.
Who else is interested? Maybe your thing is poetry. Fiction? How about a story per week. Come on, Let's see what we can do. The time is now. You are the one!!!!
In Greatness,
GaBrilla Ballard
Artist in Recovery
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